forgiveness

Forgiveness – What It’s Not

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For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. – Matthew 6:14-15

Forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting that a person has wronged you, it’s not saying that what they did was okay, and it’s certainly not lying down as a doormat to let them wrong you again. God is the best at forgiveness, and His patterns as shown clearly in the Bible will enable us to understand what forgiveness is and how to apply it in our own lives.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. – Matthew 6:12

Forgiveness, as described in the Bible, is concerning the repayment of a debt. If you did something to destroy X, then you now owe me something equal to X. This can be seen with the concept of sin and sacrifices made to clear Israel’s sins. The problem with the Old Testament sacrifices was that the repayment was not equal to the debt. Why? Well, because God didn’t REALLY care about scorched meat. He cared about the heart of the person sacrificing. If the person did the act without a heart of repentance, then the sacrifice meant nothing. He was looking for the repentance and the owning up to the fact they sinned.

For You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You take no pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, – Psalm 51:16-17

When Jesus died on the cross, He was a great enough sacrifice to repay the debt as He was sinless. Yet, who really sacrificed? God did. So, where do we come in this, since we’re the ones who owe the debt? We repent. Actually, that’s all He wanted. So, why the death? Well, because the punishment of sin is death. In fact, sin creates death (figurative and literal), so we must die. However, God didn’t want us to be under the permanency of death’s hold if we changed our hearts and repented. Therefore, if we repent without God’s grace, death is still inevitable. Someone must still die. Jesus died in our place so the death of our souls would no longer be inevitable. Now, as long as we repent, we are not under the second death’s hold. He cleared our debt for us.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 6:23

Okay, so what does this have to do with you and how you should forgive? Well, look at others wronging you as sinning against you because that’s exactly what it is. They sinned, and they technically still owe a debt to you. What if they don’t regret what they did? What if they never apologize? What if they repeatedly sin against you or would in the future?

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. – Matthew 18:15-17

Do as God does and separate yourself, just like the Jews separated themselves from pagans and tax collectors. Sometimes, we think that, as Christians, we should stay and forgive and try to save this person in front of us. In reality, if they don’t want to be helped and repeatedly harm you (or would in the future; be honest with yourself), they don’t deserve to have you around. You are God’s Child. You are royalty. Remove yourself from their presence. Even God does this! Are you better able to save or forgive than God? No.

He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. – Psalm 103:10-12

“Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” – Isaiah 1:18

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9

To forgive is NOT to forget. It’s not to stay in a harmful or toxic situation. It’s not to allow others to take advantage of you.

So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” – Luke 17:3-4

If someone repents, you should forgive them. That doesn’t mean forget or stay where they can harm you. It doesn’t even mean trust.

I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins. – Isaiah 43:25

This verse doesn’t mean literally forget. It means He’ll put your sins behind Him. He still remembers everything.

One of the crazy things about God’s love is how much He can love us and still allow us to fall, experience the consequences, and learn from our mistakes in an independent way. God’s way is free will, and if that’s the way God loves others, that’s probably a great way for you to love others too.

Allow others to experience the natural consequences of their behavior, and if need be, separate yourself either temporarily or permanently, to allow them to experience those natural consequences. They may not learn from their mistakes or change their ways, but you’re protecting yourself too. This is the way God loves.

It’s a dichotomy of selflessness and self-respect that God shows, and you can see it clearly throughout the Bible. There is a verse that is misused, in my opinion, where Jesus tells His followers that if someone slaps you on one cheek, you should turn the cheek to allow them to slap you there too. This is misused to say people should allow disrespect and abuse. In reality, it’s the opposite. I already wrote this in a separate post, but here’s the run through of what Jesus really meant:

In the times Jesus lived in, the Roman government ruled over several other peoples, including the Jews. If a Roman soldier gave orders that a Jew disobeyed, it was typical of the soldier to backhand him or her across the face. The slap became known as a symbol that they looked at the Jews as inferior. Since most people are right-handed, if they backhanded someone, their right hand would strike a right cheek. However, if a soldier was ready to strike an equal, he would usually punch, which would strike a person’s left cheek. This practice of slapping was so pervasive that Jesus gave Jews advice on how to deal with it.

Don’t fight them and don’t meekly accept their behavior. Turn the cheek. It was a sign of passive defiance. It’s saying, “I demand to be treated as an equal.” It forces the soldier to either hit them as an equal (instead of as a superior) or at least take a moment to realize how they are treating another human being. (Turn the Other Cheek: Rebellion Tips by Jesus)

In as much as He is a servant, He is also a King. Jesus was here as an example for our behavior. You are a servant to others, but you’re also royalty by being a Child of God, the one true king.

Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. – Micah 7:18-19

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. – Mark 11:25

It was necessary for the Christ to suffer and to rise from the dead the third day, and that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name to all nations. – Luke 24:46-47

Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. – Acts 3:19

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:31-32

Forgive, be forgiven, respect yourself, and respect other’s free will to make mistakes or be horrible people. You’re here to love, not to save everyone from themselves. Although God’s always waiting with outstretched arms for a sinner’s return, while a sinner is unrepentant, He allows them to separate themselves from Him.

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. Isaiah 59:1-2

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, – Romans 1:24

Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. Ephesians 2:12

Forgiveness is a release of anger and condemnation that demands the wrongdoing be repaid. Let it go, and let God.

***

As an aside, here’s a long verse that shows as an example God’s forgiveness. He expresses toward the end how He allowed Israel to separate themselves from Him, which turned out to be destructive to them. However, they repented, so He’s redeemed them, still holding them as cherished.

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth— everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Lead out those who have eyes but are blind, who have ears but are deaf. All the nations gather together and the peoples assemble. Which of their gods foretold this and proclaimed to us the former things? Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right, so that others may hear and say, “It is true.” “You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the LORD, and apart from me there is no savior. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed— I, and not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD, “that I am God. Yes, and from ancient days I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it?” This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “For your sake I will send to Babylon and bring down as fugitives all the Babylonians, in the ships in which they took pride. I am the LORD, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator, your King.” This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise. “Yet you have not called on me, Jacob, you have not wearied yourselves for me, Israel. You have not brought me sheep for burnt offerings, nor honored me with your sacrifices. I have not burdened you with grain offerings nor wearied you with demands for incense. You have not bought any fragrant calamus for me, or lavished on me the fat of your sacrifices. But you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses. “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence. Your first father sinned; those I sent to teach you rebelled against me. So I disgraced the dignitaries of your temple; I consigned Jacob to destruction and Israel to scorn. – Isaiah 43

Set Apart

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Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: “I am the first and I am the last; besides me there is no god. – Isaiah 44:6

Originally, I was going to look up historical “gods” for why our God is different from every other “god.” I may still do that another day. However, today, I needed to just write my personal reasons why God is different from anyone and anything else as I’ve experienced Him.

First, anytime He asks something from me, it’s only ever something to help me or others, not Him. God doesn’t ask me to follow a set of rules just to appease Him or task me to do rituals simply to calm down His wrath. His laws are to make the world a safer and happier place, even when it seems like it’s about Him. For example, the commandment to put no other “gods” before Him is because 1) He loves us and gets jealous when we give our attention and desires to an imaginary figure when He’s there open arms waiting for us. Everything else is emptiness. 2) Following other “gods” means following their possibly contrary rules, chaining ourselves as slaves to another master, and confusing ourselves and others in who we really are as Children of the One True God of love.

And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. – Revelation 21:6

The idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; they have eyes, but do not see; they have ears, but do not hear, nor is there any breath in their mouths. Those who make them become like them, so do all who trust in them! – Psalm 78:58

Bel bows down; Nebo stoops; their idols are on beasts and livestock; these things you carry are borne as burdens on weary beasts. – Isaiah 46:1

He has limitless patience, love, and forgiveness. He does get upset if we purposely fall into pits of destruction, causing harm to ourselves and others, for obvious reasons. However, that doesn’t mean He doesn’t want us anymore. We are never so far away from Him that we’re unreachable. We just have to be willing to accept Him and His forgiveness. He loves us no matter what and will seek us out individually just to save us from ourselves if need be.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. – 1 John 4:18

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13

He’s an individualistic AND community-minded God. Following on the heels of my last point, He looks at the good of the whole without sacrificing the good of the individual. We aren’t just ants to His eyes or numbers to His heart. He breathes into our bodies to make us living souls, and His heart beats for each one of us, with all our unique quirks. He would have died for you if you were the only person in existence. YOU.

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?” – Matthew 18:12

He’s always present. He doesn’t exist only in a figure to bow down to, and He doesn’t leave us when we seek Him. He lies even within the deepest recesses of our being, settling down as the Holy Spirit to guide us through every day. When you speak to Him, you don’t have to follow certain requirements, rituals, or formalities. You could be lying in a ditch with only the outpourings of wordless emotions thrumming through you, and God will understand more than you understand yourself.

“Can a man hide himself in hiding places So I do not see him?” declares the LORD “Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?” declares the LORD. “Am I a God who is near,” declares the LORD, “And not a God far off? – Jeremiah 23:23-24

God doesn’t live up to our expectations. He exceeds them. He isn’t human-like as the Greek, Roman, Scandinavian, etc. gods were, with petty revenges, weaknesses, and the ability to be tricked or permanently killed. He isn’t a live-action soap opera on the mountains with magical powers. When He loves, He loves beyond what you are capable of. When He overpowers, He can’t be matched. When He protects, He can’t be foiled. There is none like Him but Him. I guess that’s why He calls Himself I AM.

God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? – Numbers 23:19

He’s a God with a servant heart. Although He is King above all Kings, He would sit and wash others’ feet. He could’ve continued to exist as comfortably as He wants, but He came to Earth to travel through hot lands, heal the ill and broken, and eat with the least of us. Then, He suffered a criminal’s punishment and death before a crowd of mocking Jews, the very ones He came to save first! Yet, to the very end, He still forgave and still continued to save.

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.- John 13:3-5

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” – Luke 23:34

Our God is a God of love, patience, forgiveness, with a heart of servitude, a God who walks amongst and lives within His people, peering into our very souls for our wordless murmurings and our hearts for our pleas, and looking at each one of His children as individuals with our many unique characteristics and personalities that He loves. There is none like our God. What have you found sets apart Yahweh from the rest?

How Jesus forgave Judas

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What does Judas, the notorious betrayer, show us? He teaches us how God handles sinners and how He loves them. Jesus died for ALL sinners: you, me, your Sunday school teacher, your child, the rapist in the county over, the murderer on death row, and the unrepentant terrorists you hear about on the evening news.

You can read that again if you think you saw the wrong thing, but I mean every word. Even more importantly, God meant to live and die for everyone of them. He is God. He knows who will choose salvation and who won’t. He knew when He suffered that He was going through it for those who would never be grateful and never love Him. He knew.

He would also do it all over again.

Why would He do such a thing? God makes commitments to those He loves, and He doesn’t make a commitment He’s unwilling to carry out.

He committed to His twelve disciples just like He committed to us.

“Then Jesus replied, “Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!” John 6:70

It’s hard to say how many chances Judas was given to bring his darkness into the light and confess the fact he’d been stealing from their money (John 12:6) or had plotted against the man who repeatedly stated He loved him. In fact Judas, someone Jesus knew was a thief, was in charge of their moneybag. He was given trust for this purpose. Then, Jesus gave him another chance that He knew Judas would still not take.

“After He had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him.
Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.”
Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?”
Jesus answered,“It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.” John 13:21-30

Breaking bread has been a symbol of friendship, solidarity, and trust since forever. Here, Jesus offers friendship to the man He is saying (though the others don’t understand)is the beginning of His end. Another Chance.

When it states that satan entered Judas’ heart, it doesn’t mean Jesus put satan there, it doesn’t state this was the start of Judas’ betrayal, or even that something strange and supernatural occurred with the bread. It means that this is the moment Judas finally gave up on love entirely. He’d committed to what he was about to do.

Jesus’ heart must’ve been breaking when He told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” It’s even more heartbreaking that Judas did. Such a strange thing God’s love is; it’s not our natural way, and it’s definitely not the easy way.

Time passed and the plot came to fruition.

“While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.

Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.” Mark 26:47-50

Have you noticed something? Jesus still called Judas friend. Can we take a moment here to recognize that Jesus is showing us not only how to love others but how He loves us? This is a bitter, bitter pill to swallow. I’d have a hard time portraying this level of love to someone like Judas. Yet, here there are, swords at the ready, betrayal of a beloved friend who stands before Jesus, mocking Him with kisses as He is led to His death. Jesus calls Him friend at the end.

Judas still had a chance to ask for forgiveness, but he wouldn’t before Jesus’ death. Yet, someone else at death’s door did ask for forgiveness, which illuminates exactly what Jesus would say to Judas.

“Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”
The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”
There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the Jews.
One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”
But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.””

Dying, the one thief confessed and asked for forgiveness. This, Jesus gave without hesitation. He even asked the Father for the forgiveness of the ones who were killing him! So, what happened to Judas?

“When Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was filled with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders. “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,” he said.” Matthew 27:3-4

Judas became ashamed, confessed his sins, and didn’t want the money he’d done it all for.

If you are in any doubt that God forgave him, would you re-read this post? Even better, open the Bible and see for yourself. He betrayed himself in the end; he was in such intense pain over what he had done.

To the very end, the very end (I have to say it more than once), God loves you and will forgive you. It’s NEVER too late. He knew your sins before He created you. He made you anyway. He never walks away from us; we walk away from him. Yet, the moment we turn back to see His face, He calls us friend and invites us back home.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

Sources other than the Bible:
https://www.taize.fr/en_article4572.html