family

Commandment Series: The Fifth

/ EloquentMuse / Leave a comment

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

There are many reasons for this commandment.

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.” Romans 13:1

In an earlier post, we mentioned submission and how submission acknowledges the Trinity and our governance, as followers, by love and humility. In the Trinity, one might equate the Father to the husband, the Son to the wife, and the Holy Spirit to their child. Now, the Holy Spirit is a being in and of Himself, but He defers all attention to the union above Him. In the same way, a child does represents his/her parents and their character and family name. We must teach our children this fact as well as we can by teaching them the commandments.

“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:7

Understandably, not every parent in the world is honorable him/herself, and this law does not necessarily mean to obey evil commands given by corrupt parents. One must always keep in mind the order of authority given to us by God. Parents (or husband after marriage) is an immediate authority; above them is the Holy Spirit, and above the Holy Spirit is Jesus and the Father. If you worked for a company and the owner told you to lock the door by 9pm but the manager told you to keep it open until 10pm, you would defer to the owner’s words as she is higher in authority. So, although all authority is in place for a reason, you are not expected to do evil for parents, spouses, bosses, or government officials. If forced, it will be the authority’s head on the block, believe me.

So, what does God mean by honoring our parents?

“Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,” 1 Peter 5:5-6

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Colossians 3:20

Children should obey in everything but evil. This must be assumed. Obedience is one way of honoring your parents, as they are in a position of authority in your life. It’s difficult to be a parent, especially in this world of corruption that we have to prepare you for and defend you from, and it can be very difficult to be a child, too, navigating in the confusing maze of deciding between good and evil. Make it easier for everyone by doing what your mother and father ask of you. You will be lifted up in time.

“If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.” Proverbs 20:20

Don’t wish harm upon your parents, and don’t speak badly of them; this is another way of honoring your parents. I hope this is obvious, but sometimes, we become angry and frustrated with everyone in our lives. That includes our parents. You stand for your parents’ name, so if you speak evil of them, what does that make you?

“Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” Proverbs 23:22

From the moment we hit puberty, many of us think we know better than our parents. This is not so, and if you are wise, you’ll listen to the words of your elders. You may learn something or not, but you certainly won’t if you turn a deaf ear. Just being a good listener is a way of honoring your parents. Also, sometimes, as our parents get older, they become less physically and mentally able. Try not to become resentful of the extra attention, assistance, or patience they may need. For most of us, our parents were there for us when we were incapable of doing anything but crying, and it is little to ask for us to do the same for them. You will be in their position soon enough, too.

“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8

This also ties in with the prior verse in that your parents may need you to provide for them whether that is because of age, financial disruption, or disease. You honor your parents by caring for their needs. As followers of Christ, we are called to love others and meet needs in the world with that love. If you can’t love and care for your own relatives, you certainly can’t love and care for strangers. Even unbelievers take care of their loved ones.

“You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:32

If you should be respectful of your elders due to their authority and experience , the same goes doubly for your own parents. Let it be said that not all parents are biological. I feel strongly that if someone raised you, no matter who they are, they are also your parents. The 5th commandment pertains to them. Jesus honored both His earthly and heavenly parents.

“And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.” Luke 2:51

Not only your parents, but also your children, will treasure all you do for your mother and father in their hearts, whether they always show it or not. Don’t expect any more honor from your children than you give your own parents. Most importantly, your Father God will certainly be moved by your actions, and He will exalt you for the love you show them in word and deed.

Marriage Part I: Beyond Mankind

/ EloquentMuse / Leave a comment

Marriage is a concept as ancient as time itself, but it’s been riding a rollercoaster of interpretation throughout humanity’s existence. Whether the institution has been used for prosperity, security, business-like partnership, procreation, romantic love, societal expectation, companionship, convenience, status, or alliance, it’s only ever meant one thing to God. Do you know what that would be?

If you say love, you aren’t wrong, but the kind of love you’re imagining may be skewed by worldly influence. You know what? Let’s start at the beginning, the very beginning, before mankind.

The Alpha and Omega: Even before the Father spoke to the Son about making people in Their image and the Holy Spirit hovered above a formless Earth, God has existed in three. No doubt, in making us in Their image, They also made us need one another. However, since we’re imperfect, we’re also great at fighting that fact. We pride ourselves for independence and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.

“Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:22-24

One flesh. They aren’t even two beings living their lives together because that could be a simple friendship. Marriage is two becoming one. Ideally, they are a unit, moving in tandem toward a single goal. I say ideally because we’re still imperfect, and therefore, everything we do is too.

“’Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'” Matthew 19:4-6

Marriage is so unlike humanity, isn’t it? Throughout our history, we’ve been on the move from country to country, changing our society, our customs, our language, our technology, and our very principles. We’re never satisfied for long, and if left to our own devices, we go in circles from generation to generation, forever changing, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. That “let no one separate” imparts a sense of permanency very rare in the world.

“For I am the Lord, I change not…” Malachi 3:6

“Unlike them, He never changes or casts shifting shadows.” James 1:17

That is why He’s our rock. We desperately need a solid place to hold onto in the moving sands of humanity. This sense of unity, unchanging loyalty, and inseparable love is what the Trinity wants His children to joyfully experience. Marriage is a symbol of the Trinity, born from His own state of existence.

This is a great place to mention divorce. Divorce is technically never good. The separation of any part of the Trinity is impossible, so any parting from that permanence and unity of that Godly love is not good. It’d be great if we could just never be harmful or abusive to one another and if loyalty and trust were forever for all marriages. This isn’t so. God would never want you to stay in a harmful environment. If you or your children are being abused in any way, separate yourselves from that evil. God is love, and He loves you. Besides separating from an abusive situation, the hard truth is that God only permits actual divorce in one situation:

“Jesus answered, “It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but it was not this way from the beginning. Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.”“Not everyone can accept this word,” Jesus answered, “but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.'” Matthew 19:8-12

To me, He is essentially stating that, unless your spouse cheats, your “divorce” will potentially drive them to another partner (as we are all driven to companionship). Since God isn’t recognizing it as a true divorce, you potentially caused them to cheat on you. Also, you’re cheating on them if you move on. This is not to say you’re sinning forever. Once you’re married again, if you follow God’s ways on marriage with the new relationship, you are forgiven (as you always can be). Even Jesus’ disciples were shocked by this declaration, and Jesus basically told them if they didn’t like it, then they didn’t have to get married.

Marriage is not for everyone. Paul attested to the beauty of being a single follower of Christ in 1 Corinthians 7:7. Jesus said being unmarried in a good thing for some in Matthew 19:11. You can still get a sense of a Godly, solid partnership if use the same concept of the Trinity in other close relationships, particularly with believers.

As mentioned in the last post, submission also holds a large part in the structure of marriage, as it does in the Trinity. Marriage reflects, like a mirror, the Father (husband), the Son (wife), and the Holy Spirit (children). Submission is simply an act of servitude to others that all should follow, whether in authority or not. It’s an act of love and respect. Jesus is in submission to the Father, and the Holy Spirit is in submission to both. The Father, in turn, serves the other two in equal respect.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:22-33

If you confused or angered by the idea of submission, please read my last post on submission, just for clarification on the subject. Even better, read the Bible, and study the relationship of the Trinity. It’s all good, and so submission and marriage is intended to be. In the above verse, the husband is to be held to the highest standard as he reflects the nature of the Father in the relationship, and as the Father utterly loves Jesus, so too should a husband act out of complete love for his wife.

Notice that Paul mentioned that marriage also reflects the hierarchy of love, submission, respect, and partnership of God and His people. A husband (whether or not the wife successfully serves him) is to nourish and sustain his wife in such a way that she thrives. A powerful woman is an asset and testament to a powerful man. In return (whether or not the husband successfully serves her), a wife is to be respectful to her husband, supporting him emotionally and spiritually. They are one, and if one falls, so too does the other.

If the partners and the good Lord decide that children are in their marriage plans, those children are Biblically called to be submissive to their parents (as is the Holy Spirit), serving in love and respect. In return, the parents need to act in love and respect as their authority figures while guiding their children’s actions.

This all may seem obvious and maybe a bit repetitive. I’m only mentioning these things because we’re all confused at times by life (I know I am), and we can get tangled in the mass of worldly marriage-how-to books and growing-children manuals. If you’re ever in a situation where you don’t know how to act with your partner or your child, remember the Trinity. You may be surprised how helpful that imagery is. God created it that way, after all.

***
Okay, so there’s more I want to say on marriage because there’s so much more to it within the Bible. I’m not sure if it’ll be my next post or not. Thank you for reading my blog! I have more in store for you next Saturday.